Oh, If only I were to love!

My second love poem. Here goes the content; should be fairly self-explanatory:

Oh, If only I were to love!

Love, that rare commodity

Your proverbial needle in the haystack

Or a tiny drop of water

In the vast mass of the mighty Pacific Ocean

Or a tiny ember from a raging Mount Vesuvius

It comes and goes

You blink, you miss it

But it hits you with a bang

As loud as a thousand firecrackers

When you least expect it

Oh, If only I were to love!

Of course, I can’t complain

That I have not loved

And I am not counting crushes

They happen to everyone

After all, adolescence is a tricky phase

I mean love, true love

Yes, it has happened to me

The first time, during my MBA

What made it so special

Was that my memory

So cluttered and unpredictable otherwise

Is crystal clear when it comes to this girl

She was very sweet and shy

And spoke only in English

But most of all, she made me happy

So unfortunate, that she was soon taken

I never had the guts to confess

By the time I did it

I think she was already engaged

So there went my first love

Of, If only I were to love!

Ah yes, I know you are waiting

To hear about my second love

This was more complicated

One, it was not my doing

It was an alliance

Forged by my parents

Through a matrimony website

And my father meeting the girl and her family

In her native, and bringing her to our home

Two, it was a kind of love

That didn’t happen all of a sudden

But rather developed gradually

Over the course of a few months

I liked the girl, to start with

She came from a poor family

And was hard-working and down-to-earth

There wasn’t anything special about her

But she gradually grew on me

Like most AR Rahman songs

It was a promising prospect

Oh, If only I were to love!

Yes, it was a promising prospect

We had met each other only twice

Before our engagement

However, we spoke on a daily basis

Over the phone

There were also video calls

But they were rarely effective

Thanks mainly to Vodafone of course!

We seemed to bond well

Especially over our love of meat

As well as AR Rahman and Harris Jayaraj songs

And of course

Bashing the current government

Left, Right and Centre!

Oh, If only I were to love!

Yes, it was a promising prospect

Or at least we thought so!

That is, everyone, except the girl herself!

The first blow was COVID19

Delaying our marriage by many months

During which we slowly drifted apart

Though I didn’t realise it then

As we all know

Hope springs eternal

Oh, If only I were to love!

Yes, Hope springs eternal

The eventual marriage brought fresh hope

Happening as it did, during the pandemic

A strong ray of sunlight

In a dark and gloomy tunnel

Alas, how ephemeral can these rays be!

Far from being innocent and down-to-earth

The girl was as cunning as a cobra in the grass

Entrapping me with her fangs

And filling my mind and soul

With the powerful venom

Of self-doubt and insecurities

And at the same time

Slithering away towards another guy

Under our very noses

And there, just like that

Went my second love

Oh, If only I were to love!

Oh, If only I were to be loved!

After such an experience

You might as well say, and wisely too

That I shouldn’t believe in love any longer

But, as we all know

Hope springs eternal

And If I don’t hope

Then I am not Ashwin!

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